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about

While normally I like to go with my first improvised take, I had a bad line in this one. That bad line inspired my veering away from reality, but when I could easily think of a better line, I wanted to just fix it. Since I also improvise tunes to established lyrics, I figured I'd go that route here.

lyrics

After you've gone I'd prefer it
if you flushed the toilet.
I know you can do this!
I've seen your hands.

You're not a cat! Even if your pretend!
And even cats can flush toilets.
Just think of the cats when you do this!
I hope you wash your hands.

How do you manage just
leaving poop in all toilets?
Walking in to a room
and pooping in the toilets.

You have done this to
seven just toy toilets.
It is kind of embarrassing
when you do it in stores.

How do you partition the poop?
How do you manage to ooze one piece of poop
in to each of seven toilets?
I couldn't do something that fancy.

When I start to poop maybe it does not all come out.
Sometimes I have to sit and think a bit.
But that's only for a first poop and a second.
How did you manage to do seven?

I think you have perfected
some crazy pooping powers.
It wouldn't be so bad
if you just flushed the toilet!

I know you can do it. You've done it before.
I know the toy toilets can't be flushed.
But you normally don't poop in those,
because we remember to put them up.

You went to your friend's house
and they had a little doll,
and that little doll had a toilet.
You sat down and used that doll's toilet.

You sat down and let out a little bit!

You somehow managed to just fill that toilet.
It did not overflow or touch your butt.
I don't know how you did it. Not at all.
You are some kind of crazy master of the toilet.

Maybe I just didn't get enough practice
when I was young pooping in seven toilets!
Maybe I just did't get enough practice.
You have have some crazy skills.

But, unfortunately, there's no Olympics of toilets.

credits

from Putting the Crap back in Crapcapella, released December 26, 2018

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Mr. Beany's Bitty Band

We're a one-person band fronted by a human who self-describes as a mad artist. We invented the "crapcapella" genre, and remain a proponent, though we now support the term "folk acapella" as well. We love improvised music as well as sheet music.

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