Mixed SciFi Songs

by Mr. Beany's Bitty Band

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This album was drafted during 2018's "50/90" songwriting competition. The notion of using field-recordings as backing tracks comes from the recognition that improvised a-capella -- as it predates all recorded music -- was sung in all manner of real-world environments. A quiet room recording, then, doesn't map up with how it was traditionally enjoyed.

I felt bad about releasing this album with only 11 songs, until I verified that the total album length is still greater than 40 minutes. It's a real album and not just an EP.


released October 8, 2018

Improvised a-capella tune and lyrics: S.W. Black; field-recording backing track arranged after-the-fact by S.W. Black using CC0 material from freesound.org.




Mr. Beany's Bitty Band

We're a one-person band fronted by a human who self-describes as a mad artist. We invented the "crapcapella" genre, and remain a proponent, though we now support the term "folk acapella" as well. We love improvised music as well as sheet music.

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Track Name: It's No Secret
It's no secret that I like cheese!
It's no secret that I also like bees!
Cheese and bees are beautiful things!
But they rarely go together.

That's why I'm working on a secret,
secret project to combine them both.
You might think it might be a honey cheese,
but I'm really working with something else.

I want bees that can make milk
that can make some cheese.
Instead of annoying beeswax,
there will be honey in cheese.

This work is quite hard.
This work involves many things.
So much cheese!
And more than one bee sting.

I still do this because it's what I love!
I love the bees and I love the cheese.
What kind of cheese are the bees working on?
What kind of cheese will most please me?

I tried a soft cheese but their hive fell apart.
That did not work for me or the bees.

I tried a harder cheese and that's doing well,
but I don't think it's chedder or swiss.
It's got a lovely golden glow,
but it might have something amiss.

Still, I might leave
the beehive
structure in the cheese.
Slice it thin for all to see.

This cheese will be so lovely!
It will be just the thing!
Some people might say it's bubbly,
but I think it's really the bee's knees.

This cheese is super fine.
It's sweet and sublime.
I think I want to have more cheese.
More cheese means I need more bees!

Soon swarms will sweep the sky
devouring everything.
Oh! You thought bees only ate pollen?
That? That was normal bees, not my bee things.

These bees are coming
and they'll eat most everything.
Track Name: When Life Throw you Wrenches
I know that sometimes life throws you wrenches.
And you must true duck or they'll stick in your gears.
Sometimes life it throws you wrenches.
But if you do what I do, you'll still appear.

When life throws me wrenches, why I just turn to goo.
Big black slimy goo, kind of like a tar pit!
Life can throw me wrenches, but they don't stick to my gears.
Because I have no gears to stick to!

Or maybe I have gears that are so, so tiny
that they look like black tar and can swallow anything.
So when life throws you wrenches, what will you do?
Maybe you need to become goo!

Swallow the wrenches deep inside.
Transform them to more goo if you can.
Maybe you could instead fossilize
if that wrench actually looked like a cow or an elephant!

Do what you do and do it so well.
And when something's thrown at you swallow it as well.
And if you like you can do the same,
when you bump in to something strange!

Maybe you'll bump in to me today.
Maybe I'll bump in to you.
And if you're not lucky,
I'll swallow you, too.

Because, that's kind of what I do.
Track Name: My Playground
My playground was rusty.
My playground was sad.
We thought we would replace it
with something that was not bad.

Plastic seemed the thing
that everybody used.
We thought we might use
some plastic, too.

But then I thought
that eventually it breaks, breaks down.
Thrown in to the trash
and that's quite unsound.

So we went to a different place
to get a different kind of machine.
Now the playground is really, really keen.
That playground there is almost always clean.

We used tentacles instead of plastic!
Giant tentacles from giant spacey creatures!
They love to play with everyone all day,
and it's really quite fun!

Giant tentacles
sticking up out the ground
tossing all of the
little kids all, all around.

It's my playground and it's safe!
It's my playground and it's ecologically safe!
It is really super, super fun!
And we almost never lose anyone.

It's my playground and maybe I will go play
with that tentacle that will wave me up like a swing.
Or maybe I will go to the ones that are teeter-tottering.
Maybe I will go to the ones like climbing bars.

I think it will be quite fun.
It should really be quite fun!
This is the best playground!
Track Name: Space Weevils
Toxic space weevils
infesting the ship.
I wanted them to leave,
of course, of course.
Toxic space weevils
infesting my hair.
But, they're making it
look so fine,
I think I'll keep them there.
My hair looks,
oh so fine,
So, I'll keep the weevils there.
But what of my ship
and the toxic mess it's in.
What will I do?
Who will I call?

I can't call
my brother,
he told me already,
"Avoid the space weevils.
You only need
space kitty cats.
Avoid the space weevils.
Space kitty cats are where it's at.
If you have enough of them,
you'll never worry about the weevils.
So get yourself some
space kitty cats
and then you won't fear.
Get yourself some
space kitty cats
and you can sit and have a beer."

So, I did not call my brother.
I did not want to hear.
I did not call my brother.
So I called my mother.
She said,
"Did you remember
to change your underwear?
Because, I know you don't
bathe frequently
when you're in a ship
way up there."

So I told her
how I clean my bits,
and I spared no detail.
And when I was done,
I was not thinking
about the weevils in my hair.

I just moved along,
doing my job.
for the holiday.
I just moved along,
doing my job.
Decorating for the
very special day.

It was almost
the very best-est day.
The day that the
Santa Claus comet
would be
coming here today.
Track Name: Bring Your Knives
All you need to do is bring your knives!
And don't be afraid to cut!
Slice them open! Open them up!
They don't do it much anymore, but you see.

We can change people KNIFE-ly!
We can slice and make them great!
Rearrange even their fate!
Cull the bad parts out of ourselves!

Slice them easily like butter.
Slice them like honey and a knife!
You don't even really slice that honey,
it mostly sticks to the knife!

Like certain bits of deep insides,
as you rearrange them with your knives.
Sometimes they don't want to come out,
and we need to bring the suction about.

Sucking up all of that bile
that spilled inside, spilled inside!
How much bile do you have
swimming about your lovely insides?

We can clean it up!
If you have a whole in your gut!
We will just open up and look around!
Fixing things so that everything is round!

Lovely round bits!
Lovely round gears!
Lovely round doo-dads!
What's this here?

So much to see!
So much to explore as we look deep inside.
Changing things and learning things
and exploring deep inside.

Deep inside.
Track Name: My Important Book
I have
a special book.
A special book
that I read some times.
It's about something
really, really special.
Something that's
always on my mind.

I don't know exactly
what it says.
But it was
given to me
all the same.

It's, yes, a really
special, special book.
And I study it
all the same.

I study it hard.
I study it soft.
I study it all
through the night.
I study it when I
go out drinking.
And I study it
when I come back and sigh.

"What does this book
mean to me?
What does this book
mean to anybody?"
But I don't know.
No, nothing.
I can't make heads or tails of it.

But it's a
really cool book.
I think it's super important.
Yes, it's a
really cool book.
I think it's super cool.

I've heard that some people
managed to translate
the title and
it's a good one!

"To Serve Humanity!"
"How to Serve Humanity!"
"Let's all serve humanity!"
Yes! This is the book!

I think that is a super cool title.
And these friends I've made
are super-duper super!
I think that is a super-duper title
and my friends are so super.

But I don't know
why people go
and visit
their planet.
They don't really
ever return
their planet must be
super-duper fun!

Super-duper fun
for everyone!
There's so much to see
and the trip is free!

Super-duper fun
for everyone!
There's so much to see!
And the trip is free!

But what of this book I have here
There's so much that it might say!
But what of
this book here?
I don't know.
I'm going to
have a vacation.
Track Name: Clone Face
Did you know I had a friend,
A lovely, lovely little friend.
Did you know I had a friend,
Who was just a clone?

I met him when he saved my life.
When he saved my life, there was so much strife.
I met him when he saved my life
But he was just a clone.

He had the same face
As all his other friends.
He had the same voice
And I did not know when

He would return and give me his face.
Because, I had no face of my own.
I needed, yes, a good clone face
For I had no face of my own.

And that good clone, oh yes,
That good, good clone,
He had some faces to spare.

Because he collected the faces
And sometimes the heads
Of his fallen friends
When they wound up dead.

The faces came right off,
Because he used a special knife.
He just cut their heads right off
And he kept their faces nice,
Safe and sound in jars like that.
Sometimes mounted on plaques
And other things like that.

So he has all these faces
And he does not do
Fancy things with them
Because, like I said

They’re just like his own face
Captured and perhaps grotesque
They’re just like his own face.
So, I think he might give me one,

So, I said: Please give me a face,
Because I lost mine
When those evil people
stormed here and sliced me.

Please give me a face.
I know you have more
And I just need a nose or two.
Please, please, you’ve such a pretty face,

And I know you’ve lots to spare.
The war cost me my only face,
And I’d like to use one of yours.
I’d like to use one of yours.
Track Name: Eat Your Flesh
I would like to devour your flesh.
It would be oh, so nice if you complied.
Did you think I would take a "no" as an answer,
because if you thought that, you were wrong.
I just want to eat your flesh.
It will taste so good tonight.

Did you think that if you were flesh
you could get out of here alive?
You should have known you had no hope at all
when you stepped, yes, stepped outside.
For that's where we live and we want you all.
We will take you far and wide!

We are mold
and microscopic things
and we want your insides!

We will eat you while you are alive!
We will eat you while you are still dead!
And maybe when you are on the edge
we will eat you, yes, some more.
You are so delicious,
just like you were way back before.

For we love to eat your yummy flesh.
Both the in and the outside!
You are yummy! So yummy!
We could, could just cry!
But we are mold! We are mold!
And we can not cry.
Track Name: Book
At some libraries for some books
you need to book an appointment.
At some libraries for some books
they won't even let you do that.

There's some books that I want to see.
One is called the Cryptonomicon.
There's some books I really want to see.
Some of them are hard to pronounce.

I would like to book an appointment
so I can get my hands on, yes, that book.
I don't need much time, much time.
I don't need much time.

I'm going to take some pictures of that book.

I can study it at my leisure.
I can study it oh, yes, yes.
I can study it at my leisure.
I can study it and undress.

There's so much to know, oh, oh.
But science covers it all, all up.
We can undress reality
and really get to the bottom of stuff.

I know there's stories about what we need to get.
And maybe it is just a little disgusting.
I'm sure there are other ways that we can do it.
So we don't need to actually sacrifice.

But I need to research in, yes, that book.
There's so much to learn,
and that book is where I want to look.
I think I want to read all of that book.
And maybe sometime I can transcribe it, too.

Maybe I will know just what to do.
Just what to know to do what I need.
Maybe I can do something.
Maybe Google Translate can help.
Maybe I can do something.
Maybe I can learn some stuff.

I think this might be where I stop for now.
I don't care if I don't have
an appointment booked for that book.
I'm going to see it. I know that.
I've planned just the way I will look.
It won't be, no, not that hard.

And the book technically won't leave the building!

So I think it might succeed.
So I think someone might bleed.
But only if they get in my way!
Only if they get in my way!

And maybe just a little blood
if the ritual requires it.
So much to learn and so much to see!
I just need to find that book.
Track Name: Troll Bridge
Would you like to cross that bridge?
Have you seen the troll under it?
The troll just needed a place to live,
so now he lives, yes, under the bridge.

Not all trolls want to eat us up.
But all trolls are really, really yuck.
They are so mean. Mean as can be.
They will say things just to exclaim
how you are wrong for being just you.

They don't like humans, they call them doo-doo.
Don't you like to hang with the trolls?
Those trolls really don't like you.
How do you get rid of a troll
that's living under a bridge?

I think you must, please,
remember that the troll just did what he did.
The only reason the troll is there
is because he was economically driven
to dispair, to dispair,
and he had no choice but to live in there.

All you need to get rid of that troll
is to improve the economy.
Not for the bosses, not for the owners,
but for every, everybody.

That will get rid of that troll.
That troll living under that bridge.
Because if that troll has a good job,
then that troll will have another place to live.
If that troll is busy working,
then that troll can't be busy trolling.
So the way to improve everything
is to make sure that lots of people
have lots of money.
Lots of people and not the one percent.
Everybody should have enough money,
so they don't need to live under bridges
Everybody should have enough money,
So they can live like humans.
Track Name: Building Blocks
They say that H.G. Wells was a fan of building blocks.
And he played his small war games with his children.
They used those blocks to create a world.
Then they set out to fight, fight, fight!

He invented the first games like that
and they took off with such, such might.
You could easily see that it led the way
to games like Warhammer 40k.

You know that it is really fun
and the things that they buy go out like sunshine
rolling across the fields
just their soldier's entrails.

And with war games genres bloomed
and it has never been the same.
Tiny soldiers spilling their guts.
Fighting each other for some nuts.

Giant nuts to them, of course.
But regular nuts to you and me.
Those soldiers there are weeping
because they want to see.

That fruit is
some sort of soldier divinity.
All of this playing
upon building blocks.

And the Little Wars of H.G. Well
became oh, much, much more
as people built on them and they did explore.
For building blocks can be so much fun.

Especially if you
want to destroy Capitalism!
Especially if you
are a Socialist!

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