1. |
Prickly Skeleton
02:20
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Prickly Skeleton!
Such a lovely,
but prickly skeleton!
What kind of beast did it come, come from?
Why is so prickly?
Why am I so itchy?
What kind of thing have I stumbled upon?
With that prickly skeleton.
I think it may be that
one day long ago
someone, they came, and
stumbled upon,
yes, their woe.
And something did eat them!
And something devoured them!
What kind of beast might have it have been?
And why am I itchy?
What is this growing at my feet?
Such a lovely, red, red beet.
What's this thing growing at my feet?
Why am I so itchy?
I think might have alergies
to something that's on me.
I think I might have alergies,
and that's why I itch.
And may be something is wrong.
Maybe I must leave but,
I want to
look
at that lovely prickly skeleton.
I might just
sit here and
think, think, think.
And my
head
it
hurts just a little bit.
And my
skin
it's
starting to feel wet.
What will I do?
What will I be?
I guess we'll see.
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2. |
Watery Discovery
01:42
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Prickly Skeleton!
Such a lovely,
but prickly skeleton!
What kind of beast did it come, come from?
Why is so prickly?
Why am I so itchy?
What kind of thing have I stumbled upon?
With that prickly skeleton.
I think it may be that
one day long ago
someone, they came, and
stumbled upon,
yes, their woe.
And something did eat them!
And something devoured them!
What kind of beast might have it have been?
And why am I itchy?
What is this growing at my feet?
Such a lovely, red, red beet.
What's this thing growing at my feet?
Why am I so itchy?
I think might have alergies
to something that's on me.
I think I might have alergies,
and that's why I itch.
And may be something is wrong.
Maybe I must leave but,
I want to
look
at that lovely prickly skeleton.
I might just
sit here and
think, think, think.
And my
head
it
hurts just a little bit.
And my
skin
it's
starting to feel wet.
What will I do?
What will I be?
I guess we'll see.
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3. |
Bone Familiar
01:51
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Bone Familiar
I've made a familiar.
A bone familiar
made with my bones.
I had to cut
just one part or three
to get the parts
for that beast.
I won't need my pinky toes
or my pinky, pinky fingers.
That bone familiar,
it just grows and grows.
So many bones
and it's so friendly
and it
eats more bones
you see.
I've had to kill my family
to feed,
feed that beast.
That bone familiar
my dearest friend
and I hope one day
that it will
eat me.
But! Not today!
Today you see,
I'll feed it you
and yes, your friends,
and then
I will scream.
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4. |
Knife-Wrestling Scream
02:49
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I thought I heard
a knife-wrestling scream.
I thought I heard
something quite obscene.
What is happening
over there?
What is happening
should I be aware?
Why did I hear that
knife-wrestling scream?
I thought you might be wrestling with someone
that held a knife to your throat.
I did not expect, no, not that scene,
that I saw when I came to your room.
You were wrestling
and you were screaming.
That we both know.
But what were you wrestling
that's got me
quite, quite scared.
For that knife had arms and legs!
An A.I. knife, you see!
And that knife you wrestled,
and why you were screaming,
why that, we all see.
It was a knife-wrestling scream.
The knives are trying to kill us.
A knife-wrestling scream.
They just want to slice
our meat you know.
All our delicious meat!
Why did we give them
artificial intelligence?
That's beyond me.
And will we survive?
Or will we all die?
I can't think about this right now,
so I, I will scream.
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5. |
Profane Words
02:18
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Profane Words!
That's what they said they were.
Profane words
we should never utter.
But the word starts
with a "D" and
it's kind of fun,
fun sometimes.
It's a dildo, you know!
And it's illegal to openly carry.
It's a dildo, you know!
But we don't want to see that thing.
Please just open-carry guns, you know.
Guns are not profane.
We love to show them in our shows.
Guns are not profane.
But, maybe they should be.
Maybe they should be!
Open-carry dildos!
Please don't open-carry guns!
And if you see a man
with an open-carry dildo
he's probably safer than
a man with an open-carried gun.
Profane words you know!
Oh! So profane!
But guns are not, not profane.
It's just dildos.
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6. |
Escape Plan
01:23
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Escape Plan!
What is your escape plan?
Escape plan!
Do you have one
or did you come here
to help me die
instead?
Will you help me to escape?
Was that your plan at all?
You should have had an escape plan
if you came in here.
You should have an escape plan
or, at least, brought some beer.
I don't think we'll escape.
I don't think you have a plan.
So we'll sit here and drink this
lovely, lovely beer.
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7. |
Ah! secret
00:46
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Ah! Secret!
Ah! I didn't want to know!
Ah! Secret!
Ah! What is that show?
I did not want to be here!
I did not want to see that thing.
That was supposed to be
a secret from all of us.
Ah! Secret!
Ah! I didn't want to know!
Ah! Secret!
Ah! What is that show?
Please, please, please just turn that off.
Please would you never speak of this.
Ah! Secret!
Ah! I didn't want to know!
Ah! Secret!
Please never speak of this!
Ah! Ah! Ahh!
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8. |
Old Moth
01:33
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Old Moth. It's an old, old moth.
Flying in the sky.
Old Moth. It's an old, old moth.
Blotting out the sun!
The wings are so, so large.
And it must be old!
The wings are so, so large.
That I hope it helps us!
It's an old moth. Old, you know.
A giant old moth.
It was on, yes, on that show.
It's an old, old, old moth!
How will it save us?
Or will it eat our clothes?
It's so, so, big you know.
It could eat, eat our toes!
Old moth!
Ancient Moth!
Beautiful,
you know.
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9. |
Important Bug
01:26
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That moth was just one important bug.
There are more important bugs, you know.
That moth is an important bug.
But not my favorite bug!
My favorite one is so large!
My favorite one shoots to the stars!
Bringing lightning and thunder from the sky!
Lightening up the scene, oh my!
So, so important!
With so many shows!
That important bug is
well-known, you know.
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10. |
Hidden Old Man
01:29
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There's a hidden old man. Old, old man.
He follows me around
but he stays hidden.
I think he's touching
himself inappropriately,
but I can not prove this.
He's a hidden old man, following me!
I see him in the pictures I take!
He's a hidden old man, following me!
And I'm pretty sure
he's up to something
that's no, no good.
I think he is doing
something he should not do!
Something gross and
highly inappropriate!
That's why he's hidden, you know.
That hidden old man
may be the death of me, you know.
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11. |
Four Teeth
01:34
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Four Teeth!
Four, four teeth!
That is all he had!
With those four teeth.
Those four, four teeth
you wouldn't think
he'd be bad.
But that infant
with his four, four teeth.
He ate my dog.
Then he went
to eat everything,
even a hog.
That infant
with just four teeth
devours all
you see.
And if he catches me,
I'll be gone, too.
To the insides
and then be goo.
Four teeth is all he needs!
Four teeth, you see.
Devourer of all
reality.
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12. |
Dungeon Waves Swelling
01:32
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Four Teeth!
Four, four teeth!
That is all he had!
With those four teeth.
Those four, four teeth
you wouldn't think
he'd be bad.
But that infant
with his four, four teeth.
He ate my dog.
Then he went
to eat everything,
even a hog.
That infant
with just four teeth
devours all
you see.
And if he catches me,
I'll be gone, too.
To the insides
and then be goo.
Four teeth is all he needs!
Four teeth, you see.
Devourer of all
reality.
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13. |
Crystals Fuzzy
01:08
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Crystals, fuzzy.
There's some fuzzy crystals.
Crystals, fuzzy.
You might see them as rocks.
Lots of fuzzy crystals.
Crystals, fuzzy.
Lots of fuzzy rocks, rocks, rocks.
Please don't touch them
because you'll break them.
They're not really hair, you see.
But they look so fuzzy, fuzzy.
Yes, they look fuzzy, you see.
Those crystals look fuzzy,
and that pleases, yes, pleases me.
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14. |
Redeyed
00:55
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Redeyed.
I've been redeyed.
I think it's from the drinking.
My eyes are so red.
I've been redeyed.
Redeyed. Redeyed!
My eyes are so red!
I think it might be from the weeping.
I did not want to weep so much,
but when I started,
I just could not stop.
I've been redeyed.
Oh, yes, redeyed.
And it's not funny.
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15. |
Leggier
02:15
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My girlfriend could have been leggier.
Leggier!
She only had two, but I wanted her leggier.
The process I used, it worked real well.
And she grew long with such, such hair.
She grew more legs, as well. She had fourteen.
But as she grew long and grew more legs,
she stopped being my girlfriend.
And so now I need a leggier girlfriend.
Or maybe I should try a leggier boyfriend.
Maybe I should try a nonbinary good friend.
But they, they need to be, yes, leggier.
I don't like just two legs,
whatever is between.
I am okay with
whatever I find there.
But they just need some
lovely, lovely legs,
and more than just one pair.
I want a leggier friend, friend I swear.
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16. |
Hop Between Peaks
01:50
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Hop between peaks!
I just want to hop, hop, hop!
Hop between peaks!
I will hop, hop, hop, hop, hop!
Hop between peaks
of low and high, high things!
Hop between peaks!
What peaks my friend?
You have peaks,
and I want to hop, hop, hop.
You have peaks,
and I think it would be fun.
Come with me
as we hop between your peaks.
Come with me
as we hop on your mountains.
I did not know that you could,
could buy mountains.
But I guess the planet,
it was cheap.
So come with me
and we'll hop between peaks!
Come with me!
Just remember:
We need to wear our
space, space suits.
The gravity is pretty
low, low, low.
And we'll hop between peaks!
Between many peaks!
We'll hop between peaks!
And have such, such fun.
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17. |
Boss Decoy
01:22
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I thought I reached the end
of the level and I met the boss.
I thought I was at the end.
But that beast I fought,
fought, fought there
was a decoy, you see.
The boss decoy,
it almost got, got me.
I went to the office and I
filed my papers.
I thought that work day
would be sweet.
But I filed them on the
wrong, wrong desk.
It was just a decoy, you see.
That boss decoy,
it still, still,
it still got me.
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18. |
Baby Dinosaur Gasp
00:54
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Baby dinosaur, gasp!
Baby dinosaur!
Gasp! Gasp! Gasp!
Baby dinosaur, gasp!
That gasping baby dinosaur!
That gasping baby makes us gasp!
Baby dinosaur!
Gasp! Gasp! Gasp!
Such a beautiful gasp!
That beautiful baby,
baby dinosaur
makes us gasp, gasp, gasp!
What should we do with the baby dinosaur?
A baby dinosaur! Gasp! Gasp! Gasp!
What should we do with that baby dinosaur?
A meme or something, something fast?
Baby dinosaur, gasp!
Baby dinosaur!
Gasp! Gasp! Gasp!
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19. |
This Aqua Moo Bulge
01:01
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This aqua moo bulge
is bulging.
This aqua moo bulge,
it bulges fast.
And the moo-moo aqua-aqua
moo bulges bulges.
This aqua moo bulge,
it bulges fast.
Why does this
aqua moo, moo bulge?
Why is this
aqua moo bulge fast?
Why I think it,
think it's the water.
The aqua moo bulge water.
This aqua moo bulge
is bulging.
This aqua moo bulge
is really fast.
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20. |
Supermassive Fish
00:54
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Supermassive fish!
It's a super,
supermassive fish!
Supermassive fish!
That is what we found
when we pointed
telescopes, telescopes
at the darkness of space!
Supermassive fish!
That is where the dark matter's at.
Supermassive fish
swimming through the darkness of space.
They do not want to
let us see their reflection,
but we caught one reflection,
fast, fast, fast.
Supermassive fish
swimming in the darkness of space.
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21. |
Electric Cruel
01:04
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Electric cruel.
Not electric kindness.
Electric cruel.
That's what I ordered. That's what I should see.
Why is this
not so cruel?
Why is this
kindness instead?
I wanted electric cruel.
Electric, not manual.
I want electric cruel.
Not electric kindness.
We need more, more electric.
We need more electric cruel.
That is what we'll give to the goverment
when they want to serve us gruel.
Just electric cruel.
Yes, make it electric, electric.
Yes electric cruel.
That will make it all better.
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22. |
What-Lands
00:48
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What-lands!
Not wet-lands.
What-lands.
Because we can't find them.
We can't find our
wet-lands, our wet-lands.
So we call them what, what-lands.
So we call them the what-lands!
We can't find our wet-lands.
We've drained them.
We can't find out wet-lands
because we've turned them to beaches.
We can't find out wet-lands.
Where are the ducks?
We can't find our wet-lands.
What? What's that?
That's why we call them
the what-lands, what-lands.
That's why we call them
what!
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23. |
Just Keep On
00:52
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Just keep on.
Keep on!
Keep on singing.
Keep on frowning.
Just keep on!
Keep on!
You're not done yet.
Keep up!
You can finish
what you started.
It was a good idea
once.
Just keep on!
Keep on!
You can do it,
do it!
Just keep on!
Keep on!
Make it really
last!
You wanted
something longer!
You wanted
something the best!
Just keep on!
Keep on!
Yes, you can
do it!
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24. |
Squeakchugger
01:02
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That's not an ordinary mouse.
We call that mouse Squeakchugger.
That's not an ordinary mouse.
He's kind of a superhero.
Sqeakchugger squeaks and chugs on through.
Through all that cheese.
That's why we call him Squeakchugger.
Because he's kind of a super hero.
He can chug on through
even the biggest, biggest cheese.
He can chug on through
and squeak, squeak while he does it.
Squeakchugger's kind of a mousy hero.
Squeakchugger's kind of super fast.
That's why we call that mouse Squeakchugger.
He's kind of a super, super hero.
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25. |
Fifth Leopard
01:45
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I thought there were
just four leopards.
The fifth leopard
really scared me then.
I thought there were
just four leopards.
The fifth leopard
almost, almost won.
The fifth leopard
almost killed everyone.
The fifth leopard was the best.
The brightest one, you see.
The fifth leopard
it almost, almost ate me.
It ate all my friends,
and destroyed the equipment.
It almost destroyed,
yes, everything.
But I'm hiding in this hole.
Hiding and hoping, you see.
I'm hiding in this hole
recording this message for posterity.
If that leopard, yes,
it gets, gets me.
I hope you'll hear my story.
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26. |
Twelfth Meow
01:20
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The twelfth meow.
Twelfth meow.
That's when
it happened.
We all knew about ten,
ten meows.
We had all
heard that song.
But when it happened
we were quite surprised
because that song
it got it so wrong.
There weren't just ten,
no, not ten meows.
There were two, two more
and we weren't prepared.
With the twelfth meow
it happened, it happened.
With the twelfth meow
we were all scared.
And it happened,
so yes, be prepared.
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27. |
Master Plan
02:29
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I have a master plan.
I have a plan for this, you see.
And I have every, everything worked out.
So many, many additional plans.
But the master plan has everything
and every precaution has been played.
And maybe they'll pick something weird.
But I have a plan for that, you see.
But maybe they'll instead, just drink beer,
and I have a plan for that, as well!
I'll get them out,
out of there!
They'll be forced to go
and my plan will work.
They'll be forced to go
to get me what I need.
It's a master plan.
I'm the master.
And it will work.
Yes, work.
I just need to wait,
and I hate, hate to wait,
but that's part of
my master plan.
While those fools
work on their part,
I will play,
play with them!
And maybe they'll fail,
but then I'll just send some others.
But maybe they'll fail
and that's part of my plan.
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28. |
Pear-Sized
01:48
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It wasn't that big!
It was pear-sized.
It wasn't that big!
But it was a giant pear.
I wanted it to be pear-sized.
But it was a big pear.
So when was pear-sized.
It really was big, big I swear.
But, but you see,
it all went according to my plan.
It, it was pear-sized.
And we were tiny, tiny.
And when I found
the beast who would eat that pear.
We were deep inside,
but we survived, I swear!
The tiny thing, it, yes, was pear-sized.
And we rode along inside.
And inside of the pear-place
we were inside the giant out in space.
Flying in a giant's tummy
as it soared, deep in space.
And when he landed on that planet
and pooped out we came
... in a pear-sized poop!
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29. |
Weeeee
00:09
|
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Weeeee!
Weeeee!
Wee! Wee!
Weeeee!
Wee!
|
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30. |
Tasty Storm
02:04
|
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|
It was a tasty storm.
A storm of perfect cheese.
It was a tasty storm.
And yes, it pleased me.
That tasty storm of cheese.
It did please, yes, please me.
That tasty storm of cheese.
Yes, it pleased me.
I knew why that storm was made of cheese.
Sacrifices were laid.
Magical spells that I'll always keep
brought the storm, storm of cheese.
Down in that valley
as the cheese it swept
the town was destroyed.
Down in that valley
the tastey cheese
knocked towns down.
That tastey storm of cheese
it wrecked every, everything.
That was my plan
and revenge was tasty.
Not bitter or sweet but umami.
That tasty storm of cheese.
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31. |
Inch Wobbly
01:11
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I got to the last inch,
but it was wobbly!
I got to the last inch,
but it wobbled, wobbled off.
I thought it would be done,
and I got to the end,
but it was
just a little wobbly.
I needed just,
just one more.
I needed just
one more, more inch.
I got to the last inch,
but it was wobbly.
I got to the last inch,
but I needed a little more.
And maybe I'll finish
even if it's not done.
Maybe I'll finish,
even if it's a little wobbly.
But! What if it falls down,
after I've just put it, put it on out?
What if it just falls, falls down,
and the people, they scream and shout?
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Mr. Beany's Bitty Band
We're a one-person band fronted by a human who self-describes as a mad artist. We invented the "crapcapella" genre, and remain a proponent, though we now support the term "folk acapella" as well. We love improvised music as well as sheet music.
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The title of this one is a good indication of what’s in store: wonderfully bleak ambient music conjuring funereal atmospheres.
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